Sometimes when we go through very deep inner work we access the deepest parts of our being, our soul. Since my separation with my ex-husband I have been doing my deepest work ever and I am so grateful for this work.
It seems my earlier experiences with narcissistic abuse really opened me up and brought me to this work, but this last experience really brought me to a much deeper place with myself and my connection to spirit. In a sense it was the continuation of a deeply personal journey that started over twelve years ago that I unknowingly put on hold when I got involved in significant relationships.
The more I connect to spirit the more I realize how important this connection is in our healing and growth. Our soul is the aspect of us that is connected to the divine and when we are more deeply connected to our soul we are more deeply connected to the divine. This allows us to receive divine guidance and get greater assistance on our journey; and let’s admit it: Healing is a journey.
When we are in our darkest moments we are most deeply connected to God. When we start feeling better and venturing back out into the world socially we can start to lose that connection as we get caught up in life again. I believe that connection to spirit is one of the greatest sources of guidance we can have in choosing another relationship, if we find ourselves in that place again anytime soon. When we are deeply connected to spirit we are really learning to listen and follow that still small voice within.
If we listen to that still small voice within we won’t be led astray. But if we let our needy inner child do all the choosing we will be looking for Mommy and Daddy substitutes or sources of comfort that have very little to do with spiritual companionship; and isn’t it really spiritual companionship we all seek? When I say spiritual companionship I am talking about a truly deep, soul connection where we can speak from the heart, listen from the heart, hear and be heard, see and be seen.
When we are disconnected from source we may mistake getting a physical comfort need met for a spiritual connection. We may not be able to see beyond one who says and does all the right things but is not authentic. If we ourselves are not authentic how can we determine if the one we are getting involved with is authentic? If we ourselves are living a lie we may be easily attracted to someone else who is living a lie and then we get to mirror the lies back and forth to each other. Sometimes waking up from the lie is the most painful thing we have to do. It is the process of coming out of denial; waking from the dream of “fantasy land.”
I have always told people who ask me “how will I ever be able to trust anyone again” that they first must learn to trust themselves. In becoming authentic we learn to listen to and trust ourselves. Once we learn to really trust ourselves we make choices from that place of inner trust.
Building that solid relationship with yourself is the most important relationship you can ever have. If you are looking backward in your life believing that Mr. or Ms. “so and so” is the most important relationship you have ever had, think again. Maybe that person has brought you face to face with the most important relationship you will ever have; your relationship with yourself.
It is possible that there was something about that “other person” that caused you to open your heart and it was your own open heart that caused you to feel such a powerfully loving connection. It is only through the open heart that we can truly love. Fearful people close their hearts. They are afraid of being hurt. Closing your heart is not the answer. Living with an open heart is where you will find your greatest source of love in your life. I truly believe this is the key to happiness and living a joy filled life. We simply need to learn to take good care of our hearts and put them in good hands.
In my next episode of Pandora’s Box I will be talking about “The Beauty of a Broken Heart.” Some of you reading this may think “What?” “What is beautiful about a broken heart?” The quick answer is a broken heart is the doorway to an open heart. If the opportunity is used wisely.
Join me next week, Tuesday October 30th at 4pm Pacific to learn more on this topic.
I won’t be having a show this Tuesday, the 23rd but invite you to listen to other archived shows that you haven’t yet heard and join me next week.
Have a great week!