To wrap up the four stages of metamorphosis Kaleah talks about living the authentic life. It is the new life as a butterfly; as your true self where you now make your own needs a priority and live a life designed by YOU. Does this mean you are always happy, joyful and fulfilled? NO! it means you are REAL and have real feelings, real relationships and real, honest communication. No more wishing that someone else will come in and rescue you from pain. You have learned to accept pain as part of your life experience and have become your own rescuer.
Kaleah also talks about how to avoid getting into toxic and narcissistic relationships.
Let me talk about what rebirth is to me. I have traveled through the dark night of the soul and have touched the depth of my own darkness. I have cried from the depths of my soul begging God to show me the way out of this pain. And slowly, but surely I followed my tears to the end of the rainbow and I found the pot of gold.
What is that gold? To me it is a new found sense of self. It is a great self respect that came with finding the strength and the courage within myself to face my greatest demons. It is a sense of independence that reminds me that I have the strength and self assuredness to stand on my own as the pillar of light I have come here to be. I have a sense of my own power to create in the world. I realize with great clarity I am not a victim in this world; I am a creator and I played an active part in every hardship of my adult life. I always had a choice about who I would be in any given situation and how I would react or respond.
For the longest time I reacted to life with pain and fear. I learned to retreat and run away to protect myself from what I perceived to be the evils of the world. But in my dark night, there was no place to run. The evils of the world were inside of me. I felt them deeply. My work was to purge all of that darkness within myself.
Now I am changed. I am transformed. I have faced the demon and he no longer has power in my life. My life is not perfect. I am not perfect. I never will be and this is the beauty of self acceptance. I can let go of the need to fit into some kind of ideal. I can just be myself, without judgment or fear that the world will swallow me whole.
Not to say I am never afraid. But when I recognize fear I confront it rather than run from it. When I recognize pain, I feel it rather than try to numb myself.
My eyes feel much more opened. When I look at a tree; I see more of the tree; more of the life around me. When I look at a human being; I see a brother or a sister who is doing the best he or she can with the knowledge and experienced gained. As I tolerate the imperfections within myself I tolerate the imperfections in others. I don’t have to be perfect for me and neither does anyone else.
I see my mistakes and see I am a responsible party in my personal relationships. I am the co-creator who creates through my fears, my judgments, my expectations, my wants and my needs. I am not an innocent victim. I gave the men in my life far too much responsibility to make me happy. I had expectations they would fulfill my needs. I judged them when they fell short of my expectations. I feared abandonment and I feared engulfment. I demanded intimacy and honesty even when I wasn’t honest with myself. When the relationships ended I blamed them for my pain.
In my rebirth I take responsibility for all of it. I take responsibility for myself, for my pain, and for the fulfillment of my needs. Although I would like a companion in my life; I am content to be alone and I know I can no longer create relationships from fear of being alone or from neediness or from a longing to fill an emptiness.
My rebirth doesn’t mean I have achieved an ideal or state of personal perfection. It means I have stepped into myself more fully and have allowed myself to be real. And being real is a deeply imperfect experience.
I have moments of sorrow but also moments of great joy and bliss. They dance together on opposite ends of the same spectrum. When I am alive; I feel it all. And coming alive is really what rebirth is to me. It is to come alive, to be real and to accept who I am with all of my flaws.
As human beings we are anything but flawless. Yet we live in a society that strives for flawless perfection. It is an oxymoron. When we live in a society like this there is a tendency to be flawed and imperfect behind closed doors and project a flawless image out into the world. When we go through our own rebirth we must confront the lie and seek the truth about who we are.
The truth really does set us free. Because the truth tells us that who we are is enough and our quest in life is no longer to get enough, have enough or be enough. We learn that we already are.
Photos are from the July fourth weekend rafting trip on the San Juan River in Utah.
Tuesday July 23rd, 4pm PST – Stage Four: Birthing the Butterfly
This is the final stage of metamorphosis where the new body of the butterfly is formed and it has sufficient strength to break out of the cocoon and take flight into its new life.
This is the stage of rebirth where everything begins to emerge much like the bursting forth of springtime. This is where you may truly feel inspired by life again; you begin to come back out and be more social. It may be a time where you move to a new place, launch a new business, get a new job, work out and get into great shape, change your diet, start expressing yourself artistically in a new way and even finding new love.
In this episode of Pandora’s Box Kaleah talks about the rebirth and how you can recognize that point where you stop dying and start being born.
In the process of metamorphosis the old resistant cells are being consumed by the rapidly growing imaginal cells. The old cells are the body of the caterpillar surrendering its form to become the butterfly. But how is the butterfly formed? From the new, non resistant imaginal cells. As we let go of the old we use our own imaginal cells or imagination to create the new life that is emerging.
In this episode of Pandora’s Box Kaleah talks about the emptiness most people find themselves in during a personal metamorphosis and how to use your imagination to create what you really want in life.