Many people ask me about going “no contact” with a toxic, narcissistic parent or sibling. I decided to address this topic in a short video.
The idea that you have a Soulmate out there, somewhere in the world, who is ideally suited to be with you, is very romantic and hopeful.
Who doesn’t want to believe that we don’t have to walk through life alone, not ever really finding someone who “gets us” and is fully devoted to us.
We come into the world alone and we leave this world alone, but it would be nice to know that during this life we can share it with a companion to our soul; someone who lights our fire and brings us to life, in a way we have never been before.
Often times when we first meet a narcissist, we have that strong feeling of “knowing” that person and the connection we feel is unlike any other. How else do you explain it but to say “this must be my soulmate; the one I have been waiting for.”
Soulmate quickly becomes “Cellmate” when the crazy making behavior begins to turn your once perfect world upside down and inside out. Some say a soulmate relationship can be challenging but this is more than challenging. It is soul destructive!
The danger so many people fall into is not knowing when to call it quits. The soulmate “theory” keeps one holding on, long past the expiration date. Continue reading Is the Narcissist my Soul Mate or Twin Flame?
Recently, on the advice of a mentor, I revisited Eckhart Tolle’s book “A New Earth”. Often when we have had years of growth between the last time we have read a profound book like this one, it is like reading it for the first time, because there is so much insight we might not have gained from our first reading. We gain what we are ready and willing to gain or absorb.
Tolle really delves into the Ego and how it is the Ego that defines our illusory self. This is the “Self” we have been conditioned to believe we are. We identify with this “Self” and the more we do this, the more power we give it. When we become aware of the Ego it loses power. When we can learn to identify the ego, to observe it in action, we bring awareness to this dysfunctional aspect of Self. When we become aware of something it can no longer function in the dark.
When we are in turmoil and emotional pain, the ego is thriving! According to Tolle, we could not feel emotional pain, rooted in the past, if we were not identified with our ego. Our ego tells us we are our pain. Our thoughts, or the voice in our head, tell us untruths about ourselves that increase our pain. We hear the voice that tells us we are worthless, we are “no good,” we are unlovable and so on. I have always called these “core beliefs” because we often learn these lies about ourselves in early childhood. However, these lies go dormant and surface again when we have an upset, crisis or trauma in our lives. We come to believe, because we are having this crisis, upset, or trauma it must be because of something within us that is inadequate or something we are doing wrong. Shame, blame and guilt! Continue reading Fear and Drama is the Ego’s Food!
Tuesday December 9th, 2014, 4pm PT, 7pm ET on Pandora’s Box with Kaleah
The female narcissist! She may be your wife, your lover, your sister, your Mother, your friend or your co-worker. Whoever she is, she is bound to make your life crazy. Is she really a narcissist? Or is she a borderline personality? Or both?
In this episode of Pandora’s Box I will talk about how the female narcissist shows up, seduces, and turns your world upside down.