Tag Archives: NPD

The Core of All Wounds

Dr. Judy Rosenberg, psychologist, tells us that human disconnect is at the root of our wounds.

As human beings, we need to have connection with others and the more disconnected we feel, the more difficult it can be to have healthy relationships with others.

The original cause of human disconnect happens in infancy when there is a lack of connection with the Mother and Father. This lack of bonding or connection with Mother can happen for a number of reasons including premature births, resulting in having to be in an incubator, postpartum depression or any other kind of depression, rigid rules having to do with allowing the baby to “cry out” rather than comfort and soothe the baby, personality disorders, mental illness, physical illness, addiction and even death or divorce of a parent. We also have extreme circumstances such as childhood abuse and incest.

Rosenberg says that breast feeding, eye contact and skin to skin contact is very important for the infant to build a strong sense of self. When a mother or father looks lovingly into the eyes of the baby, the baby is provided healthy mirroring and gets the sense he/she is loved and valued.  If a parent is “distracted” or preoccupied, this kind of connection may be limited, or not happening at all.

Once we are adults, we can’t go back and change the circumstances of our childhood but we can heal by understanding and learning how to connect with ourselves.

Understanding that the original relationship of baby to Mother and Father is the cause of the disconnect wound, does not mean we “blame the parent.”  Developing this understanding helps the “adult child” to realize the disconnect wound was not his/her fault but healing it in adulthood is his/her responsibility.

The disconnect wound, like the sins of the Father, are passed down from generation to generation and until someone in the family tree breaks the chain by healing their own disconnection wounds, the problem will continue to be passed down.

There is a huge difference between fault and responsibility. Blaming anyone for how we feel will not help us to heal. But truly accessing our “feeling” states will help us reconnect to ourselves, to God/ Spirit and to each other in a more authentic way. Continue reading The Core of All Wounds

Is the Narcissist my Soul Mate or Twin Flame?

The idea that you have a Soulmate out there, somewhere in the world, who is ideally suited to be with you, is very romantic and hopeful.

Who doesn’t want to believe that we don’t have to walk through life alone, not ever really finding someone who “gets us” and is fully devoted to us.

We come into the world alone and we leave this world alone, but it would be nice to know that during this life we can share it with a companion to our soul; someone who lights our fire and brings us to life, in a way we have never been before.

Often times when we first meet a narcissist, we have that strong feeling of “knowing” that person and the connection we feel is unlike any other.  How else do you explain it but to say “this must be my soulmate; the one I have been waiting for.”

Soulmate quickly becomes “Cellmate” when the crazy making behavior begins to turn your once perfect world upside down and inside out.  Some say a soulmate relationship can be challenging but this is more than challenging.  It is soul destructive!

The danger so many people fall into is not knowing when to call it quits.  The soulmate “theory” keeps one holding on, long past the expiration date. Continue reading Is the Narcissist my Soul Mate or Twin Flame?

The Victim Archetype

A New Podcast is Available:

victim-archetypeWhen we examine the Victim Archetype, we look deep into our shadow to find the part of ourselves that looks at life through the lens of the victim. We tend to feel victimized by our relationships and circumstances in our lives. We unconsciously attract victimizers into our lives who adequately trigger us.

In this episode of Pandora’s Box we will explore, in depth, the victim that may be lurking in your shadow. Once you discover what is hiding deep within, and bring it into the light of awareness, you have the power to upgrade that inner victim, to Empowered SELF!

I Need You To Love Me

podbeanbutton_144wWe often get caught up on a Merry-Go-Round of trying to get our needs met from other people, investing an enormous amount of energy in trying to get love from an empty well. Why is this? How can we break this pattern and learn how to truly live “in love?”

In this episode of Pandora’s Box, Kaleah explores how we give our power away to people and things outside ourselves in attempt to get our deep, inner needs met. She addresses the dynamic we find ourselves in with narcissists and addicts and how we can change our pattern of attracting hurtful and destructive relationships.