Four years ago the man I loved disappeared from my life and I was left in the darkness to deal with the pain and grief of losing another marriage. I had such high hopes and dreams and once again they were shattered and so was I. I traveled through a “dark night of the soul” in search for what was missing in my life….”ME!”
Four years later I have found those missing parts of myself. I rebuilt my life, created a beautiful home, a thriving business, great health, a close network of dear friends and a music room where we meet and create the most powerful healing sounds. Where it once felt life frowned on me it now feels that life smiles upon me.
Four years later the man I left behind resurfaced in my life and attacked my character. Where my friends and readers now tell me I am a beacon of light he told me I was darkness. Where my friends tell me “I love you” he tells me “you are not worth loving.” Where my friends tell me “you possess such radiant beauty” he tells me “you are ugly.” Where my friends tell me “you are a woman of great integrity” he tells me “you have no integrity.” Where my friends tell me I have such a big and loving heart, he tells me “you are heartless!” He didn’t use those words but this was the message contained in his words.
It was in his reappearance in my life I realized what it was I had to overcome. Four years ago I believed those things about myself and I attracted people into my life who would mirror to me the beliefs I held in my shadow. I felt I was never enough! I couldn’t be enough or do enough. I was not good enough or loving enough. In his eyes I saw, not my beauty, but my ugliness.
I have learned to surround myself with people who really SEE me! People who know me, value me and love me for who I am and who I am is always enough!
My life is now “drama free” because I realize that the drama in my life was not coming from me but from those who needed to cast their inner demons upon me. I have purged my own inner demons to the point where now I CAN SEE ME!
PEACE is truly a product of our own hearts and souls. When we can come to a place of peace with who we are, we become a peaceful, loving individual. When we buy into the negative and dark projections of others we take their demons upon our shoulders and carry the burden of those demons.
To shake those demons I learned to say “you don’t know me! You never knew me! This is not who I am! It is who you are! I release you to your own experience of life! I will not carry the burden of your demons anymore!
I believe the attacking email out of “nowhere” was a great representation of “a BLAST from the past!” The past blasted into my life to ask this one question. “What have you learned?”
I have learned that I no longer need to surround myself with people who don’t see me, hear me or value me. I no longer need to believe those cruel things people say about me out of their own insecurity and unresolved pain. Those people are no longer welcome in my life. I have a choice and my life reflects my choices.
I choose LOVE! I choose JOY! I choose PEACE!
May you be blessed!
P.S. I wrote my book “Rebirth; Traversing the Dark Night of the Soul” inspired by this journey of the Self to Know the SELF! It is not only about the lessons of my own experiences going through the “dark night” but my experiences guiding others through the dark night. Go here to learn more about this book!