The idea that you have a Soulmate out there, somewhere in the world, who is ideally suited to be with you, is very romantic and hopeful.
Who doesn’t want to believe that we don’t have to walk through life alone, not ever really finding someone who “gets us” and is fully devoted to us.
We come into the world alone and we leave this world alone, but it would be nice to know that during this life we can share it with a companion to our soul; someone who lights our fire and brings us to life, in a way we have never been before.
Often times when we first meet a narcissist, we have that strong feeling of “knowing” that person and the connection we feel is unlike any other. How else do you explain it but to say “this must be my soulmate; the one I have been waiting for.”
Soulmate quickly becomes “Cellmate” when the crazy making behavior begins to turn your once perfect world upside down and inside out. Some say a soulmate relationship can be challenging but this is more than challenging. It is soul destructive!
The danger so many people fall into is not knowing when to call it quits. The soulmate “theory” keeps one holding on, long past the expiration date.
Lets explore this topic in depth in the video below:
Many people believe the narcissist in their life is their soul mate or twin flame. In this episode of Pandora’s Box, Kaleah talks about how holding onto such a belief can keep you stuck in a fantasy that may be difficult to get out of.
It was a beautiful sunny morning and I was sitting out on my deck having coffee and checking my emails, when I received an email that my Websites had been deactivated by my hosting service, due to malware.
My beautiful morning was abruptly ended as I got on the phone to my hosting company and ended up with one of their partners who has the “big guns” when it comes to compromised Websites. Big guns come with big money; money I wasn’t prepared to spend. But then I realized “this is my living, without my Websites I am out of business.”
“Big Guns” is an appropriate term for companies who search and destroy the enemy and erect tough firewalls to prevent them from getting back in. I never fully grasp the concept of “Cyber Wars” before and how there are people, entities, and businesses who spend all their time and energy seeking out vulnerabilities in Websites so they can do a hostile takeover.
In my case it was an Asian company who invaded my world with their intent to use my identity and hard work to sell whatever they were selling. When you Googled my site, the search results producd a whole lot of Chinese words. I had no idea what they said. But my name was on it.
The company I was working with to eliminate the malware and give my site a clean bill of health, told me it wasn’t likely personal. These people have sophisticated “robots” that scan the Web looking for unprotected sites. My site happened to have some vulnerabilities and I now had a list of “to do’s” to stay on top of, such as updating my “WordPress” sites as soon as the updates were available.
I spent twenty four hours in Cyber Hell, trying to get my most important Websites moved over to a more secure server and get it back up Online. When a site like mine is compromised by Malware, Google will blacklist me, so I won’t show up in the search engines anymore. Another destructive feature of Cyber hacking. But thanks to my expensive service, they were able to “reinstate my site” so I could get back in the good graces of Google.
It amazes me how some Chinese outfit, whom I don’t know and who doesn’t know me, has the power to do so much damage and cost so much time, money and energy for innocent people who are just following their heart and living on purpose. But this is Cyber War! There are casualties!
I realize we are all vulnerable to Cyber War. We are targeted through our computers, through our phones and through our Websites. We are all connected through this World Wide Web and their are evil people in that Web, with the intent of doing harm. Some of the evil doers are from foreign lands and others are in our own government.
The Internet itself is both a way to bring us together, and keep us apart. There are so many more lonely people as a result of the Internet as people try to get their needs for connection met in Cyber Space. Dating has even gone into Cyber Space. We often forget to “look up,” go outside and talk to our neighbors. Reality has gone Virtual!
Although I am grateful for the Internet and how I can work from home, writing, recording and offering counseling services by phone, I also realize I am one of hundreds of thousands of people who will have their livelihoods immediately destroyed should the Grid Collapse. Still, I can’t help but feel this is a strong possibility.
With the sophistication of the “Dark Side” to destroy on a Cyber level, a Cyber nuclear war could take us all down. I say nuclear, because those who are so hostile as to launch a nuclear attack are not only destroying others, but they are also destroying themselves. If the Cyber Grid collapses, even the hackers are out of a job. But they would probably get such a dark thrill out of knowing they held in their hands such power to destroy.
Cyber attacks were part of the recent political campaign, and probably past campaigns as well. Cyber wars can destroy reputations and the most sophisticated attackers can even drain the enemies bank accounts and render them a non-person.
My sense is that the World War III may very well be a Cyber War. Our dependency on the Internet for everything from banking, stock trading, purchasing and socializing has made the World vulnerable to attack. If the Internet goes down, and doesn’t come back up, we all have to go back about twenty years and start over. That may not be a bad thing, but it will do a lot of damage in the meantime, because we have progressed so much in twenty years. Our money system is likely to collapse. Computers run planes, trains, automobiles, businesses, hospitals and so much more. Are we really prepared for this collapse?
I know having been touched by the enemy, who took my business down in a day, I can’t quite look at this system the same way. There is a fire burning and without our firewalls we may get burned. Even with our firewalls, we may get burned, because the more sophisticated our firewalls, the more sophisticated the methods to break through them.
My life was hacked, and I got through it and back Online, stronger than ever, but my mind is starting to ask “what if?”
Self love is really about taking care of yourself on all levels, body, mind and spirit. If you put all your attention in one area and not consider the other important area’s of your life you will experience a lack of balance.
People often come to me out of a state of emotional pain and chaos. The emotional part of their life is needing a lot of attention. This often happens when we ignore our emotions for too long. We develop sophisticated methods of suppressing our emotions so we don’t feel pain or discomfort and when our usual methods of suppression don’t work anymore we begin to experience the pain and discomfort we have long been running from.
When we ignore our body, we also experience physical issues such as gaining too much weight, lack of energy and illness. Our bodies need care on a daily basis and yet so many people put more effort in maintaining their vehicles than their own bodies. When we suffer the ill effects of neglecting our body, we don’t feel good on all levels.
The mental aspect is the part of us that thinks, analyzes, evaluates, solves problems and makes decisions. It is also the part of us that gets stuck in negative thought or stinking thinking. We need to practice being “mindful” of our thoughts. Negative thinking can lead to negative feeling and deep emotional pain. When you think the thought “I am not good enough,” you will not “feel” good. So practice minding the mind, watch your thoughts and beliefs. There is truth to the saying “what you think about comes about.” We can choose where to put our mind, but it may involve practice and conditioning.
The final area of focus is spirituality. You don’t have to be religious in order to pay attention to the spiritual aspect of your “being.”
Spiritual is “of the spirit.” The spiritual aspect is the part of us that is aligned with being true to ourselves and “on purpose” in our life. It is the part of us that hungers for connection with others and with the God of our Understanding, even if this is nature. Spending time in nature can be a deeply spiritual and healing experience.
Practices such as meditation, deep breathing, yoga, tai chi and even silent hiking in nature are food for the spirit and the body.
On my personal growth path I am devoted to my physical health and well-being as well as being a student of spiritual growth and exploration. I have been a vegetarian most of my adult life and now eat a completely plant based diet. Eating a plant based diet involves eating things that grow naturally on the earth, such as fruits, vegetables, nuts and seeds, beans and legumes and some healthy grains like quinoa, wild rice and oats. My diet is anything but bland as I love cooking and preparing delicious living food creations. Eating a large variety of living, wholesome foods from nature are not only the highest vibrational diet for our body but the most harmonious for our health, healing and connection to nature.
We, as humans, can get very attached to our diets and way of eating. I suggested to a client wanting to lose weight and feel better that she adopt a plant based diet for a month and although she begrudgingly agreed to look into it, I never heard from her again. Some people are just too afraid to stray from their comfort zones and if your comfort zone diet involves eating a lot of meat, dairy and processed foods, you might not find the health and wellness you are seeking.
Diet plays a much larger role in our lives than we might believe. The saying “you are what you eat” is true in many ways. What you put in your body does make a difference.
When you want to detoxify emotionally you might think about detoxifying physically as well. It is proven that fasting and praying go hand in hand because as you restrict your food and normal routine, it forces you into those places of discomfort on an emotional level. Many people who go on juice or water fasts also have some pretty amazing spiritual experiences. I’m not saying you should fast, but even choosing to adopt a plant based diet for a month is a type of fasting from heavy meats, dairy and processed foods and you will not only shed extra pounds but shed some emotional baggage as well. If you throw meditation and yoga into the mix, all the better.
Finding balance in your life is important to feeling good about yourself and your life. If you are feeling depressed, suffering Post Traumatic Stress symptoms, anxiety and lack of energy, consider focusing on small things you can do every day to bring about a greater sense of well-being. There is never a “one size fits all” cure for such things, but there is incremental progress based on the steps you take today.
The steps you take today create the “YOU” of tomorrow!
If you love yourself are you a narcissist? Many people are afraid that by developing greater self love and making their needs a priority they are being narcissistic. Kaleah talks about what self love really is and how you can practice self love to overcome the effects of narcissistic abuse.