Tag Archives: codependency

Giving Thanks for What is Good

When we have “bad things” going on in our lives, the last thing that occurs to us is to look for the good.  Typically, the pain, the loss, the trauma or whatever else is going on becomes the center of our focus.

For many, the Holidays are tough times.  You may find yourself alone, separated from family, estranged from a loved one, and feeling there is nothing to celebrate.  Although I am not encouraging celebration, I am encouraging looking for what is still standing in your life, and focus your attention there.

After a hurricane or a fire, one must assess the damages and decide if their home or any of the possessions can be saved or if they need to start over, from the ground up.

Many of us find ourselves in “start over” mode and must let go of what has been destroyed in the fire, or wiped out by the hurricane.  The most difficult part is the letting go.  We must learn to “let go” of the life we were living prior to the “disaster.”  That life is no longer available to us.  This is natures way of telling us, it is time to rebuild. Continue reading Giving Thanks for What is Good

How Our Stories Keep Us Stuck

One of the most common questions victims of narcissistic abuse ask me is “how do I stop thinking about it?”  There are a lot of reasons we get stuck in ruminating about the narcissist and what he or she has done.  Often the behavior you have witnessed is atrocious, even unforgivable as you might see it.  So we are not talking about the behavior here.  We are talking about YOU. What can you do to stop this ruminating cycle of obsession and hyper-focus on the abuser and the abuse?

We don’t often think about how our stories keep us stuck, but this is exactly what happens.  Everybody has a story.  The story might go like this.  “He was having an affair with another woman for the past three years we were together and every time I felt suspicious and ask him questions he told me I was crazy and got really upset with me.  I ended up feeling I was the problem and believed I was just needy and insecure.” Continue reading How Our Stories Keep Us Stuck

I Need You To Love Me

podbeanbutton_144wWe often get caught up on a Merry-Go-Round of trying to get our needs met from other people, investing an enormous amount of energy in trying to get love from an empty well. Why is this? How can we break this pattern and learn how to truly live “in love?”

In this episode of Pandora’s Box, Kaleah explores how we give our power away to people and things outside ourselves in attempt to get our deep, inner needs met. She addresses the dynamic we find ourselves in with narcissists and addicts and how we can change our pattern of attracting hurtful and destructive relationships.

Parasites and Their Host

Tuesday March 10th, 2015, 4pm PT, 7pm ET on Pandora’s Box with Kaleah

relationship-quote-orloff-300x224Parasites don’t just show up in our lives as worms and bugs but also as human’s who take energy.

Narcissists, borderline personalities, sociopaths and addicts are examples of people who take energy from others for their survival. For every parasitic relationship there is also a host; someone who unconsciously allows their energy to be taken.

In this episode of Pandora’s Box Kaleah will be exploring the relationship between the Parasite and the Host in order to shed light on how one can liberate himself/herself from hosting parasitic energies.

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